Wave is related to the ups and downs. I feel that I still haven't stepped out my wavy mood of that of a typical teenager. I am not sure why. This strong sense of irritability drives me nuts. Websites of dubious nature claim that irritability in teenager is a sign of depression. Oh, well, I am no longer a teenager.
The problem at hand right now is my unending skepticism and limited trust that I am willing to dedicate to the people surround me. Well, by no means I am saying that people are all evil and should not be trusted. In fact, I believe people are fundamentally kind-hearted, because human being have to live in a group to live and survive. Instead, what I am saying is that the pitfalls of human nature is so inevitable such that I don't want to risk myself.
This sounds so stupid as I am putting my ideas down. However, I feel powerless for change, powerless to admit that I used to be stupid and naive, and unwilling to reconcile my imperfect self with my ideal self image that was formed in the excessive love of my parents.
Now it comes to talking about a solution. Maybe, solution is too definitive of a word that puts another layer of perfectionism to complicate my dilemma even further. All I want to say is that it is time to continue my reading, my work and my life.
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